Forgive the unforgivable
Why is it so hard to forgive others ?
Usually because we believe that they are 92% to blame for the problem , that I am not as bad as they are .
So .. I start to carry the load of other people’s actions . If my ego is too hurt , I will have the sense of correction of justice ; I know I am right , " That is not fair " .
But if I start to forgive from the heart , sincerely , then this kind of feeling and attitude begins to dissolve .
I remain humble and this forgiveness will bring me closer to others . Then I do not carry regrets or anger , I just let go and remain light .
One of the hardest, thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable. We love to read stories about people who’ve responded to hatred with love, but when that very thing is demanded of us personally, our default seems to be anger, angst, depression, righteousness, hatred, etc. Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts.
Want to live a long, happy life? Forgive the unforgivable. It really is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. As Ann Landers often said, "hate is like an acid. It destroys the vessel in which it is stored."
When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge or embrace forgiveness and move forward.
Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Your mother criticized your parenting skills. Your friend gossiped about you. Your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance.
But when you don’t practice forgiveness, you may be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was YOU………
As difficult as it seems, you can be sure of this: At the core of the heart, you have the power to move beyond the old issues that are still hindering your freedom. The hardest things—the ones that push you up against your limits—are the very things you need to address to make a quantum leap into a fresh inner and outer life.
In the long run, it’s not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You’re not forgiving them for their sake. You’re doing it for yourself. For your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don’t let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It’s not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It’s one thing you can be totally selfish about.
Take it slowly. The deepest resentments are wrapped up in a lot of hurt and pain. We think we’re protecting ourselves by not forgiving. Acknowledge that and go easy on yourself. Forgiveness means that you’ve decided not to let it keep festering inside even if it only comes up once in awhile. Forgiveness is a powerful yet challenging tool that will support and honor you, even in the most extreme circumstances.
The incoherence that results from holding on to resentments and unforgiving attitudes keeps you from being aligned with your true self. It can block you from your next level of quality life experience. Metaphorically, it’s the curtain standing between the room you’re living in now and a new room, much larger and full of beautiful objects. The act of forgiveness removes the curtain. Clearing up your old accounts can free up so much energy that you jump right into a whole new house. Forgiving releases you from the punishment of a self-made prison where you are both the inmate and the jailer.
Put your best mental energies (perhaps first thing in the morning) into visualizing the new life you want. See yourself - in the future - as free of this pain and suffering.
Forgiveness is a choice. When you say, "I can’t forgive that person," what you’re really saying is, "I’m choosing not to forgive that person." If you say it the second way instead, you’ll find yourself forgiving soon.Remember two wrongs don’t make it right it makes it worse.
True forgiveness takes time. Realize that everyone heals in their own way and in their own time. It is ok for you to take time to forgive, but you must realize that you will only be free from the bondage of hurt,despair and rage if you let it go and truly forgive the hurt that is holding back the true you. The sooner you make the choice to forgive and apply it, the better.
Forgiveness is not a defensive action, but an offensive one. It actively demolishes strongholds that keep you and others in bondage to a hurtful situation. Be aware that you are in a spiritual battle through the act of forgiveness and may experience some resistance from the devil in this. Press forward towards victory anyway! It is the best gift you can give yourself!
Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me.
yes, true forgiveness takes time. and we can only do it with the help of the Holy Spirit
Comment by tin-tin — October 17, 2009 @ 11:20 pm
Time heals the wounds as they say. I’m the person who forget & forgive quite easily and I’ve no qualms about it bec. for me there are so much positive things that needs more of our attentions than those negative energy that brings nothing but pain & sadness.
Comment by cheh — October 18, 2009 @ 11:18 pm
tin-tin Thanks
. missed you
Comment by zingtrial — October 20, 2009 @ 11:42 am
cheh! Agree postive things
.Where have you been my friend He!He!He!
Comment by zingtrial — October 20, 2009 @ 11:44 am
Forgiveness takes time and patience but I believe everyone can develop it. Our culture should promote forgiveness as a necessary virtue. Whether the Holy Spirit bestows it or we find in within ourselves, the power of forgiveness is available to all people, but it requires practice and concentration: the more the better.
Comment by Kathleen Maher — October 20, 2009 @ 9:18 pm
Hi Zing,
Yes, forgiveness is so important, and as you have stated, when one chooses not to forgive the one who suffers the most is oneself. I believe the greatest example of forgiveness was Jesus forgiving as He hung upon the cross. When we’re filled with His Spirit, He can endow us with that power to forgive too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
Comment by Carol — October 23, 2009 @ 9:20 pm
hm~~~ For me, it is so hard for me to forgive the unforgiven. I am exeprience it now, where it hurt my family and me so badly. Maybe until my last breath, I don’t know if I could forgive for what happen to us.
Comment by azyan — November 2, 2009 @ 1:56 am