Working Away

Look to this day!  For it is life,the very life of life  yesterday is but a dream, and to-morrow  is only a vision,and if today is well lived makes,every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.So my friends look well therefore to this day!

To forgive seems easier to do than to give.  Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.I Feel like an eagle yet an eagle I am not,but I can still fly.my imaginations become my wings. The magnificent eagle is still just an eagle but I can soar as high and as far as my aspirations take me.Just like it is not the sugar that makes the tea sweet,but the stirring.

We live in a world ridden with selfishness………the ego rules and as long as the self is satiated……..nothing matters.

My friends sadly,this is the philosophy many live by.Fortunately  there are Exceptions to this rule,and many of them.They make our world a much happier place.The clever thing to do is to spot these people,they are not saints they walk amongst us.

They make their mistakes,fall frequently.get up when bruised and have enough faith to clasp the helping hand that pulls them upright.They  have cracked the code.They have learnt to balance the demands of their ego with the cares of their conscience.(What I’m I talking about He!He!He! read on my friend   ).

The freudian ego and super_ego come together and live in harmony.The instinct of self-preservation and world morality can go hand in hand.Most significantly,they trust that helping  hand that helps them up.

The sufi concept of maqam an nafs translated literally means a state of egotism. And as sufi belief would have it,we are all born into this particular state.Absolute selfishness.The interesting thing is some of us wallow in this state for the rest of our lives.We are unable to transgress beyond the demands of our self,we remain attached to worldly gain,material benefit,incessant greed and notions of  very false pride.

But then there are those who are able to evolve into the higher stages,those of the heart,maqam al qalb,and the soul,maqam ar ruh.What happens here?.Man learns to leave behind strains of indignant pride and endless gain.He becomes closer to the spiritual side,more independent of the material bonds that bind him.

Part of this winning spree involves the ability to do more than theorize,to actually act.Not just to spout wisdom but to translate it into a very practical realty.But the thing is, what do we do?Not much considering the heady amount of affluence that exists in our gilt-edged little world.The ego keeps getting in the way.There are balls to attend, ostentatios weddings to plan and more money to make.

Unselfish acts come in myriad forms.The best ones are bouts of wisdom and compassion from those who have struggled,had their lows and come out on  top,on a high.They have learnt their lessons in life and this is crucial.When you learn wisely,you act well,disruptive patterns are broken.

Pain makes you stronger,success makes you kinder.The ego has diminished.The ability to comfort and to  give feeds on itself.It can be a terrific cycle.And my friends never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right.Life has bright side and a dark side,for the world of relativity is composed of light and shadows.If you permit your thoughts to dwell on evil,you yourself will become ugly.Look only for the good in everything so you sbsorb the quality of beauty in this life and after the life cycle ends.

So lots of love to you all my friends.

May the light of love shine on you all. . 

Have a nice week 

 I have been having flashback and with the fireworks booming all around me triggered my memories.This is how I see it now " fear".

What does fear do to you? 

Have you ever been afraid? Everyone gets scared sometimes.Take children,thunder and lighting may scare them or make their heart beat faster.maybe your mouth goes dry when you are afraid,palms sweat.Perhaps you get butterflies in your tummy when you see the bully who picks on you.

Then why do we do things that scare us?We all have fears from time to time.That is true no matter how big we are or brave we can be.

My friends fear can even be good for you sometimes and even help you stay healthy.

1.Do you watch scary movies?.(some people even enjoy being a little scared)

 2.Ever been on roller coaster rides?.(then why are they  going on it).

3.Drive a little faster then  permitted or ride a little faster .

Have you ever wondered why being scared makes your heart beat faster and makes you breath  quicker?Body reaction to fear,"fight or flight"  response.(I remember as a child being chased by confused baboons "flight"(run for it),was the course I used.He!He!He! No way was I going to mess with angry baboons.

Then when  people  in the army uniform harassed me with guns  I applied"fight" even though I knew fighting won’t solve the problem.Some of the detainees were beaten with batons until they lost consciousness and we were made to watch.Here the rule was and is military rule.

Now after a few incounters with them I learnt about anxiety,you know the feeling something will go wrong,like feeling scared but there doesn’t seem to be a clear reason,feeling tightness in your chest,bellyache,dizziness,or a sense  that something horrible is going to happen.I found these feeling can be very frightening.It started to  interfere with my sleep and things I needed doing at that time.In everyday  life most of us  shy away from acknowledging our fears  that cause us anxiety and embarrassment.

This my friends has been bothering me for a few days .

Wish you all a good week . 

Yes I am blogging my friends . I came across this ,some children’s answers.

1. Noah’s wife was called Joan of  Arc.

2.Henry VIII thought so much of wolsley that he made him a cardigen.

3.Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night .

4.Salome was a woman who danced naked in front of Harrod’s.

5. The native of macedonia did not believe,so Paul got stoned.

6.Iran is the Bible of the muslems.

7.The patron saint of travelers is St Francis of the sea sick.

8. A Republican is a sinner mentioned in the bible.

9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

10.The Pope lives in a vacuum .

11The fifth commandments is "humour thy father and mother".

This made me laugh and I thought to share it with you .

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer,and remember my friends Children are  one third of our population and all of our future.

They "Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling and love that you cherished them". And I live you with this ……Mahatma Gandhi…………The weak can never forgive.Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong

 Have a nice weekend . 

And a Happy EIDUL-FITR to those who will  be celebrating .

 While I was walking, It was sad to hear a child trying to get her mummy to listen to her but mum was so busy that she paid the child no attention and the child looked hurt.She called the child all sort of things,but listen to the child.

I have been thinking about this all day and thought of blogging about it .

The basic building block of good  communications is the feeling that every human being is unique and of value.My friends watch your thoughts;they become words.Watch your words;they become actions.Watch your actions;they become habits.Watch your habits;they become character.Watch your character;it becomes your destiny.When dealing with people,we have to remember that we are not dealing with creature of logic,but creature of emotion.The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.

Listening with a heart………It is becoming increasingly diffcult to find time to listen  to people  because of a new  type of lifestyle.Listening is the most important and widely used expression of human communication.

Take children the easiest ways to empower children is to listen to them.If children feel important and share small little things with their parents,they feel comfortable sharing their more significant things with them in later life.Listening to each other in a family improves the quality of family life and every one feels cherished.

The best time  for a family to listen to each other is during meals.Turn off the television and talk.This is a time you can create memories that will become anchors of love to see  your children through difficult times.

The more you listen to your children,the more confident they become.If your child get enough attention at home.it is less likely that he/she  will seek it by acting strange elsewhere."By listening to your children,you boost their development" 

The most diffcult part of listening to your children is when they are expressing anger.Even caring parents find it diffcult to respond positively.Comments like"Don’t make a fuss" or "there is nothing to cry about" or Don’t be a baby" make children feel ignored or insignificant.A better course of action is to offer your child reassurance.I.e. if your four year old  is crying because of darkness ,avoid saying things like,"Dont be ridiculous there is nothing to be afraid of " .Try instead to use soothing expressions like "I guess going to sleep in a dark room can be scary.What can we do to make it not so frightening?.the child will offer the solution i.e"I want to keep the light on".The end result,the child feels appreciated,loved and treated with respect.

Parents can become better  listeners by listening intently,making eye contact.By facial expression and body language,they can also convey that they are open and available for their children .Even repeating what they have said can help.It will show that you are sympathetic and paying attention.

Now  as long as I don’t have to listen to them 24/7  but you have to  then its OK with me He!He!He! (Just joking      ).

It does not  mean that parents need to be a nonstop "listening machine".There is a limit to a person’s ability to listen,but the key is to know how to set the limits without alienating your children.

As a whole, listening to your children is important for their development and growth

Do you do any of this?

1.listening boosts your child’s self-esteem.

2.It teaches parents to respect their children and value their opinions.

3.Listening to children teaches them to listen to others carefully.

4.Listening attitude of parents helps the children to express their feelings.

5.listening carefully to your children builds mutual trust between you and your children.

This is what I wanted to tell the lady who  didn’t have time for that little  four or five year old.I wanted to say,we spend 70% to 80%  of our  average working day  communicating with others.About 45% of that time is spent listening.In the process of listening we hear the message,try to undrestand it,evalute it and make a decision on the basis of that evaluation.

If your child exhibits socially unacceptable behavior avoid yelling or labelling negative remarks in front of people.Correct your child in private and talk calmly.That should resolve the issue and the result can be surprisingly positive  on the child ’s personality.Always listen carefully to what the child says and most particularly what they don’t say,and respect their ideas.Don’t snub or make fun of the child even if you consider the idea to be absurd or illogical.Let them explore themselves without unnecessary restrictions.I needed to get this off my chest.

Wish you all a nice weekend . 

My friends!! I am Blogging He!He!He! .

Hope you guys have been well ."Recreation’s purpose is not to kill time,but to make  life , not to keep a person occupied,but to keep them refreshed;no to offer an escape from life,but to provide a discovery of life"

Happiness is not the absence of conflict,but the ability to cope with it,and my friends of all the things We wear or will ever wear,our "SMILE" is the most important of all.Just like our smile We need  colour,when was the last time you gave your self a treat by doing everything in colour for therapeutic value: i.e.the wall of your room,your car,what you wear,and what you see.Colour speak all languages my friends .It can be of great value to us,but we don’t use it , Colour has a profound effect on all of us on all levels,physical.mental,emotional and spiritual.Since the beginig of time all cultures in some way or another used colour for changing our ways of being or life.Today we are no different,We colour our world  in many ways,you will find yourself drawn to one colour more then others,explore colours.

What’s life without colours?

What does colour mean to you?

Isn’t colour life in itself? .

 Colour is how you live your life.It’s your mood and  its quality;it’s variety and feeling.Without sensation and intensity,how could we live life fully?For colour has power,and science has proved that colours guide and teach us.

It"s easy to notice how this works in everyday life.Try wearing different colours  and check your mood on separate days(write it down) .Night colours are meant to rejuvenate you as compared to when you wear bright day colours meant to vitalize you.

Colour heal us even when we’re unaware of their therapeutic value.We sense,use and admire colours all the time.These colours are wonderful cues for our brain to help us be healthy.At the same time , some colours may have adverse affects on our health,requiring us to be well-informed in this regard;in order to avoid them when we have health problems and instead,to use the benefits of healing colours more and more during stress,distress or disease.

Here think of red rosses,green grass,blue,etc.

Now try different colours everyday and tell me about your moods and colours.Which is therapeutic for you    He!He!He!.

Wish you well  .

Bush’s ridiculous speeches

They misunderestimated me……….nov 6 2006.

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful,and so are we.They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people,and  neither do we…….Aug 5 2004

Will the highways on the internet become more few?

If You don’t stand  for anything,you don’t  stand for anything!Nov 2,2002

My views are one that speaks to freedom  ….Jan29,2004

Yes Mr President He!He!He! 

For every minute you are angry.my friends you lose sixty seconds of happiness. "Anger is one letter short of danger"He!He!He!.

What determines how angry we get?Is it really our  neighour or is it our inner self that is not quite satisfied with us?.

Deterioration of mental retention is only a part of it.Your eyes misread a sudden urge of violence……not being able to hold it together.PHEW!! A mutiny is on…the crew no longer obeys the captain.It’s sheer anarchy.

Which group you belong to;1 or 2 .let me know .He!He!He!   .

1. When people become angry they can experience many different thoughts,feelings,and physical reactions. Some people experience strong feeling of resentment or hostility,raise their voice,curse,or throw things.

2. Other people  experience physical symptoms such as headaches,nausea,and increases in heart rate and blood pressure.For some,angry feelings become so overwhelming they feel ready to explode..Others may not know they are angry about a situation but will feel  physiclly ill.gulty,or will overreact to other situations.

Aggression is defined as "the first act of hostilty or injury"But why do people become aggressive?It is the thirst for power,authority,money,simply the desire to intimmidate others? 

The root of aggression lies in the spirit of the suppressed when intimidated for long,when stripped of basic rights,when denied liberty,when made to feel unheard.

Now for those who have children: Social learning theory:i.e.Aggression is largely learned. through direct contact A child as young as six years of age  will soak up what mum and dad are up to.

Cognitive factors play a crucial role in determinning how you react.One cognitive factor that will influence your behaviour is your interpretation of the situation…….. i.e Imagine being stuck in a traffic jam on a hot day.A car suddenly rams into the bumper of your car.How you react?Certainly with a surprise and feeling of agitation.But do you retaliate in kind;reversing your car and bumping into the car?or do you swallow your annoyance and proceed?Obviously, this depends on numerous factors;how big the dent on your car was etc………..your appraisal of why the car bumped into your car.Did he do it on purpose?Was it totally an accident?Finally it’s important to consider your current mood.Aversive experiences produce negative effects.

Aggression is often a direct result of physical or verbal provocation from other.

Sometimes when I a’m angry I have the right to be angry,but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel,and remember my friends we don’t have to attend every argument we are invited to.If you are angry with your loved  ones ((((((hug)))))) Them,

 Wish you a nice week   .